When I first started school, my mom kept the same rules I had when I was in junior high and in a smaller town. My curfew was so early parties hadn't even started yet by the time I had to be home. I was worried that no one would want to be friends with me if I couldn't go with them. Soon, my friends started drinking at parties, only beer but still I still felt funny. When I realized that my boyfriend was smoking marijuana, I started really feeling scared. This is all stuff we weren't supposed to do. I worried just as much about caught as I was worried about people not wanting me as their friend.
When I think back, no one ever said anything. When I think back, I did the right thing joining the theater group. I did the right thing and joined the orchestra group. When I played for the musical, the director wasn't so bad. I probably was oversensitive to any criticism he had of me being gone for those weeks.
I guess I was the one who overexaggerated a lot of things.
It wasn't all me as I look back. My parents lack of support was also part of my problems back then. But I could've made an effort to find more help. I never went to a school counselor. I didn't look for a school group to see if there was any that supported my not wanting to drink. I wonder if I had told Lisa or Katy about Danny and my fear of what he said about Caleb "bringing me along" if they would have understood.
(Lexie is fictitious. She is a compilation of research, real experiences and observations of 18 years of teaching high school.)
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