Adjusting to my new home

When I first started school, my mom kept the same rules I had when I was in junior high and in a smaller town. My curfew was so early parties hadn't even started yet by the time I had to be home. I was worried that no one would want to be friends with me if I couldn't go with them. Soon, my friends started drinking at parties, only beer but still I still felt funny. When I realized that my boyfriend was smoking marijuana, I started really feeling scared. This is all stuff we weren't supposed to do. I worried just as much about caught as I was worried about people not wanting me as their friend.

When I think back, no one ever said anything. When I think back, I did the right thing joining the theater group. I did the right thing and joined the orchestra group. When I played for the musical, the director wasn't so bad. I probably was oversensitive to any criticism he had of me being gone for those weeks.

I guess I was the one who overexaggerated a lot of things.

It wasn't all me as I look back. My parents lack of support was also part of my problems back then. But I could've made an effort to find more help. I never went to a school counselor. I didn't look for a school group to see if there was any that supported my not wanting to drink. I wonder if I had told Lisa or Katy about Danny and my fear of what he said about Caleb "bringing me along" if they would have understood.

(Lexie is fictitious. She is a compilation of research, real experiences and observations of 18 years of teaching high school.)

About Lexie

Lexie is now a senior in high school. Her story will be out in a book called The Rabbit Trap in the fall of 07. She has learned a lot in the past three years that she would really like to share with girls such as herself or parents of girls like her.

"Being 15 and starting high school was hard enough, but being in a new school on top of that was awful. I was leaving Penny, Olivia, and Perry. We didn't have to talk we just knew how we felt. We had been in playgroups together while we were all in diapers. They loved music like I did. We were all string players. Penny's violin couldn't hold a tune, and Perry was always on tempo speed, but we liked playing together. They didn't mind that I was first chair forever. When Mom and Dad said we were moving to Columbus, Ohio, they promised nothing would change. They said I could come back and visit and we would stay close. But things did change. That's why I am writing."

(Lexie is fictitious. She is a compilation of research, real experiences and observations of 18 years of teaching high school.)